Take These 3 Challenges With Your Child and Create Wonders in Your Relationship!

We are a successful parent, notbecause our child gets into an elite school or scores a 4-point GPA, but because our child trusts us and seeks us when they are in doubt, distressed or even in danger. And to build that kind of trust, we need to connect, communicate and collaborate with our children. Take these 3 challenges to get to know your child better and build a strong friendship. I took it with my son and “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship”

We might as well say it aloud — video games are here to stay and we might as well make peace with it! How about going one step further and embrace it?

You might be asking, “Are you kidding me?” just like my son, when I offered to play with him. He sure thought he misheard me. He hesitated a bit but upon confirming, he made a mad dash for the console with a gleeful smile as if he had won a lottery.

Maybe in his world he did win a lottery. Mom offering to play a video game is just like winning a lottery — a one in a million chance. Well it happened and it was a one in a million experience!

My kids, especially my son, is a big fan of Minecraft. As I resigned to some mining and crafting, I was bowled over by the cute camaraderie that grew between us in the process. A gallant assertive child teaching a clumsy, novice mom all the tips and tricks (Do not look into Enderman’s eye, my son would warn protectively!), going easy on me to make me feel good, encouraging me not to give up — it was all good.

As I fumbled my way through, I saw my little boy transform into this quick-thinking, adaptable fighter making split-second decisions to solve sophisticated problems. I was absolutely giddy to see him rise above those annoying creepers and Enderman with resilience and perseverance and survive life on his own by gathering, rationing and building tools. It didn’t hurt either to know that there was so much math, science and life- skill lessons involved.

For me, it was a great opportunity to connect with all those things that make him happy. And as for him, he was thrilled that I took interest in his interests and he reciprocated by going all the way in on our family activities for the rest of the day.

In this busy world, our efforts to connect with our child is like finding a wormhole for time travel. Video gaming gave me this rare opportunity to be in sync with my child — to think, feel and emote alike. And according to Jane McGonigal, game designer and author of “ SuperBetter “, this kind of a vibe can be a powerful tool to connect to their brain, behavior and emotions.

Video gaming is a beautiful way to let your guard down, interact and bond as he would with his peers. This opens a receptive channel to have important conversations, teachable moments and a foundation for future relationships.

Whatever video games, as long as they are kid-friendly and parent approved, hop along with them and show-off some of your cool gaming vibes!

Teaching your child to cook will be the special gift that keeps on giving! Research shows that learning to cook will encourage your child to make healthier choices and live a nutritionally balanced life. So how about teaching your kid to learn an important life skill as you bond over “ nourriture délicieuse “.

And a word for the neat and control freaks like me, take a deep breath and chant — “The ends justify the means” or read my previous post on coping strategies in such situations.

It can be a harmless peanut jelly sandwich or a 6 layered gourmet cake. Just the fact that you are entrusting them with such a noble task of filling your choosy tummy will be duly noted and immensely appreciated. The dynamics you will share in this project is unmatched to none!

Revelations from the cooking challenge:

We take for granted all those things that go into cooking when we fly solo. But as a sous chef (me) guided by a novice head chef (my boy), some wonderful things unraveled by the cooking challenge:

STEM education — Cooking paved way to Math with measuring and estimating, Science with temperature and texture, Language with recipe and instructions and strategies with planning and executions. .

Health and well-being: What might have sounded preachy made absolute sense here when we discussed health, hygiene and advantages of home-made food.

Mutual learning: When I was frantically looking for my peeler to show my son how to peel a ginger, he matter of factly used a spoon to do the job just fine — taught to think outside the box!

Gratitude — After an adventure filled with thrilling peaks and frightening dips, my son had a newfound appreciation for cooking and his parents who showcase their culinary skills on a daily basis and promptly issued a heartfelt gratitude.

Accomplishment- He took such pride in his accomplishment that he snapped many pictures and made many phone calls to regale his friends about his contribution.

Bonding This collaborative project made us receptive to knowing each others’ likes, dislikes, quirks and pet-peeves which otherwise would have been a painful exchange between an annoyed mom and a whiny complaining child.

The one thing common among Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, Warren Buffet is their love for reading. Benefits of reading are endless — for both you and your child. Some of the benefits as listed by Healthline are

• improves brain connectivity
• increases your vocabulary and comprehension
• empowers you to empathize with other people
• aids in sleep readiness
• reduces stress
• lowers blood pressure and heart rate
• fights depression symptoms
• prevents cognitive decline as you age
• contributes to a longer life

Imagine you and your child reaping all these benefits while sharing experiences, making memories and creating a beautiful bond that you will cherish forever.

How we set up the reading challenge:

• Kept it short, simple with clear goals
• We selected 2 books — “The One and Only Ivan”, chosen by me and “Schooled”, chosen by my son.
• Picked a family reading time and a comfortable spot to read.
• Encouraged conversation during these reading sessions — I don’t think he needed any.
• Kept an online tracker and an end date for the project.
• Reviewed and discussed the books informally (Don’t get greedy and ask for a book report!) — Here are some question prompts for discussions.

Books really opened our hearts to each other

Well parents, “The One and Only Ivan” is not for the faint-hearted and I was glad that the challenge introduced me to this book. It gave us both a chance to discuss the obvious- animal mistreatment and understand that just as cruelty, selfishness and sadness are a part of real-life, so are kindness, optimism and a will to fight.

I was also thrilled reading my son’s choice- “Schooled”- it was fun to read and gave us a much-needed prompt to discuss school-life challenges like bullying, fame, popularity and how to overcome these by quirky, positive attitudes!

I always said that one cannot emphasize enough about the importance of reading, but now I would say one cannot emphasize enough about the importance of having discussions with your child post-reading!

Conclusion

At all stages of life, the bond between a parent and the child should be built on love, trust and mutual respect and there is no better word to represent the essence of all three- “Friendship”. Try these challenges and please do share with us if you have any other ideas towards this beautiful goal.

Originally published at http://press1forparents.wordpress.com on February 18, 2021.